I've posted this before, but I just can't emphasize enough what a fucking idiot my husband is. And it's getting worse as he gets older. Yes, I'm planning to leave. Saving money in a secret account, but due to circumstances beyond my control, it's going to take longer than I hoped.

Whenever we're low in our checking acct, H pulls $ from our savings. It's nearing empty. We have a separate Bill acct where no money is allowed to be taken out by us, only bills come out. He knows never to take $ from it. To hide (save) $, I've been putting extra in our Bill acct. He knows I also keep 1 extra mortgage payment in there just in case, & bills come out on random days with how autopay is set up. I've managed to save an extra $1200. If I need to use any of the secret savings, I'll use a credit card then make a payment. My ex drowned us in debt to where things went into collections & there was no money to pay all of our bills or food. I'm scared of it happening again.

My friend's husband died suddenly, and I'm jealous. That would solve so many of my problems. And the money would be a bonus.

Filling out paperwork to divorce my 2nd H. I'm at the part where it asks about changing my last name. I don't want his name anymore, but I don't know what last name to return to. At birth, my mom gave me my siblings fathers last name out of spite due to being mad at my dad. At 18 I changed my last name to (moms last)-(dads last). Then I married H 1, had a child, I later divorced him (it took 6yrs to finalize). I didn't change my last name then bcuz I married current H a month after divorce was final. I don't want either parents last name cuz they were crap parents. Child graduated & will be out on their own soon, no need to switch to child/exHs last name. I have no family other than my child.

Operation Divorce has started. I just created a new (secret) email account via a free encrypted email service and opened a separate bank account (also secret). I set it up to have $150 from each paycheck direct deposited into that account. I just started a new job making a shit ton more money and haven't gotten my first full paycheck yet, with 401K deductions, etc. So husband will have no idea that the checks are $150 less than they should be, because we don't really know what the exact amount should be yet. I will also funnel some cash deposits to it here and there. I should have enough saved in the account in a year to retain a divorce lawyer. Right on schedule.

Everything is finally coming together. Looks like my husband will be getting served with divorce papers next year for Christmas. I have wanted this forever and planning it for years. I have busted my ass to get to a place financially where I can do this. I honed my skills, got a certification and am now finally making enough money to support myself and stay in this house. He's going to claim to be completely blindsided even though I've expressed my unhappiness hundreds of times over the years. We've even seen a counsellor. He'll say the right things to them, so it looks like he's making an effort. Things will get slightly better for a couple weeks. Then he's right back to being useless. He contributes absolutely nothing to this family other than a paycheck and I don't need that anymore. If there's a way to do less than the bare minimum, he'll find it every time. Can't wait.

My dear hiking friend starting hiking together a few years ago. This year, our goal is to visit all the National Parks in our state and we've done over half just this summer alone. Recently had third trip together with overnight stays since we both live in diff. states now. She doesn't mind driving through hilly forests which is a huge plus. My only pet peeve with her is that she's very addicted to her phone and social media often stopping every moment to take pics (as gorgeous as they are). When we get back to the place we're staying at, she's immediately back on her phone sending pics, talking with family, or watching videos on social media. I not going to sit there while on her phone so then we're both on our phones after amazing days at the parks. Would love to just have an hour of two of convo without any distractions. I suppose social media is her way to unwind after long driving days, but it bums me out since we both rarely see each other.

Nope. Hysterectomy in ‘94. I just snapped at him yesterday for crumpling up an empty water bottle. I’ve been dealing with a lot with elderly family members lately and I think he’s just been an easy target. I have started apologizing after my meltdowns and he says he understands.

Menopause?

I've been snapping a DH a lot lately. He forgot to take his phone for the millionth time, he didn't pick up after himself, he left the bathroom a mess.......all things he's done continuously in our 35+ years together. So why is it all SO fucking annoying now? I'm checking out three-day solo getaways right now. Is there something in the air or is it just me?