After hosting a couple for three days I was worn out. I had so much to do to get our household back to normal! My plan was to clean, go grocery shopping, and do laundry, and maybe work in an afternoon nap. Came back from shopping and DH had done the laundry! I told him that was better than getting flowers. Didn’t get the nap in, but he certainly made my day.

My dad is 88. Lives in supported care facility. Lately he’s been texting me of his maladies…dizziness, can’t sleep, leg cramps, leg swelling, and for the last three days almost constant nosebleeds and diarrhea. He lives an hour away so I scheduled lab work for me today that’s 5 minutes from him. I was to take him to breakfast, maybe a little shopping. Nosebleed so no breakfast. I called when I got done and he didn’t want me to come by. Now, three hours later, he thinks he should go to ER. I get on the road and twenty minutes in he says not to come. He’s all better. Lord help me be a good daughter and remember he won’t be here forever.

H once said he didn't understand why women say they're always exhausted with everything they have to do. "Like what?" he asked. So I asked HIM - who cooks for ME every day? (No one) Who does MY laundry for ME? (No one) Who does all the cleaning? (You) Who does the grocery shopping? (You) *light bulb goes off* But then, he called me the other day from his business trip to talk about the bills and asked what I was doing. I said I was cleaning. He goes, "Every time I call you, you're cleaning. I cleaned the house when I left two weeks ago, I can't imagine what there is to do." I asked if he'd dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed the tub, washed out the cat's food & water dishes and litter box, cleaned the shower curtains, dusted the blinds, cleaned the mirrors, washed the walls, scrubbed the kitchen cabinets, cleaned out the microwave, stove & fridge...he said no. So I said, "Then you didn't clean the house. You did, however, leave it tidy." *crickets*

(cont'd) So the thing is that I'm picky when it comes to cleaning my house and what I eat. He's been 'sorta' cleaning the house (in my view). And he's been grocery shopping, but he buys stuff like pizza rolls and pancake mix and makes it for dinner. I can't eat like that. I will feel like shit. So even though all this really helped me there's room for improvement. My suggestions were to hire a cleaning person just for that one month, and to order meal-kits (like hello fresh or blue apron) with healthy food just for that one month. I thought he would be happy- it's less for him to do. He was NOT happy and he felt insulted that what he was doing wasn't good enough. I tried to tell him how much I appreciated everything, and that he basically found the key to keep my from losing my mind every year but he's just upset. Am I the ass hole?

Ok I've got an "Am I the asshole?" situation here. My work is ridiculous during the month of January. Like, outrageous workload, nights, weekends, HUGE stress.. And also during that time DH is laid off. His job is seasonal. (This is a new job this year) So he's been trying to help and it's been GREAT. He's done shopping, some cleaning, cooking, just taking care of shit during this time so I don't have to. And it made me realize that what I have really NEEDED this whole time (12 years at this job) is just some help. Just to have some shit taken off my plate. And this year has been really eye opening as far as what actually works to bring my stress level down. So now that the month is almost over, I made a list of things that have really helped and how we could make those things even more helpful. (Cont'd)

The biggest thing about learning tarot is learning how to interpret the picture on the cards - but that's really hard with basic, well-known cards like Rider-Waite. I found a great deck that has very depictive artwork that helps with interpretation. https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Tarot-Learn-... Also, biddytarot.com is a wonderful resource!

Trying to buy bras on Amazon. How the F*CK do I narrow it down by size? I need a 32 inch band. Every GD bra I like starts at size 34. And forget 100% about finding my size in an actual store. I freaking hate shopping. *sigh* Are pepper bras any good I wonder?

I'm an actual empath, and it bugs the HELL out of me that it's become a blanket statement for being able to read others' moods. It's much more than that. Being an empath means that you actually take on someone's feelings. Example: one day I was happily shopping at B&BW when suddenly I nearly crumpled to the floor in despair. I began sobbing heavily and hyperventilating. The feeling of loss and heartache was profound. A few hours later I got a call from a friend that one of our other good friends had found her husband passed away in his car of a heart attack that afternoon. Another time I woke up in the morning just wanting to end it all. I had the most terrible, intrusive thoughts that I will never repeat to anyone. Found out a couple days later that it was a neighbor I was close to. She repeated those same thoughts to me. It's a good gift to have at times, but it's very stressful as well.

On the other hand, he did the grocery shopping and washed the car, but yeah, I'm over it!

DH offered to do grocery shopping. Now he can't find his wallet and has been tearing the house apart while huffing, puffing, and cussing for half an hour. I wish he would just go ANYWHERE BUT HERE right now!!!! He is so hard on himself whenever things go wrong but it affects everyone in the house. (BTW- he just found it. It was in my purse. He put it there yesterday while we were out) So sick of this shit though. Usually, he won't tell me what's wrong unless I ask him five times. He just emanates bad vibes for hours. :(