I get that it's always easier to confide in someone in the same field that understands that's going on, but I still feel hmmm about the heart emojis. I text with coworkers both male and female and have never used it. Anyway, hopefully things work out for both of you in your careers.

We do heart emojis a lot, actually. I think he confides in me because I understand everything that's going on just from working there too. I lot of it is complicated, so unless you work in the system, so to speak, it wouldn't really make sense or would be hard to explain. I also think he doesn't want to necessarily let his wife know how bad things are, because he doesn't want to burden her with that level of worry too. Like I think he's telling her the deal means he'll be paid through September, that's plenty of time to find a job, etc., which is what the propaganda, White House BS is telling fed workers. But boots on the ground & knowing what we know are telling us that's not really going to happen. We've both been married for about the same amount of time, me 21 years, him a little longer, I think. We both have 2 kids about the same age (college-aged).

First off, hope everything works out with (both) of your jobs. Heart emojis? Hmmm...and don't feel bad for what you told him, thinking it was what he needed to hear. I'm sure he appreciated the truth and not some sugar-coated BS. That is probably one of the reasons he confides in you. Does he have kids and how long has you/him been married? Just being nosy.

UPDATE - So I texted him the day after that call where I reacted badly and basically told him that what I should have said was - followed by a very heartfelt, totally innocent, message of support. He replied with THANK YOU!! and some heart emojis. We've texted a bunch since, but mostly just work related stuff. For now, all the stuff happening with the federal government is on our minds. Any flirty banter is kind of taking a back seat. Yes, I would love to work with him again. But I really just want to help him through all of this. My job's not necessarily secure either. I can not even begin to tell you how scary what's happening at the fed gov't is. It's much, much worse than people are hearing. And everyone who knows how bad things are and are about to be are too afraid of retributions to speak up.

Yep that makes sense, although what is wrong with old coworkers/ friends meeting to catch up? I wonder what, if anything, his wife thinks? Maybe she suspects something and discourages him from staying in touch--you know how us women have that intuition. Although I think heart emojis are very telling. I almost divorced my dh once because he was texting a coworker and using them and I personally found it very upsetting. But, I digress. If he's setting up boundaries then he knows theres something there.

I haven't had any contact with Boss in 2 months. That's the longest we've gone without chatting. But I think about him all the time. I had a dream about him a few nights ago, and then thought about him the whole next day. I went back a read old messages, and looking back, they were more flirty and personal than I thought they were at the time. I have always said that we never did or said anything that our spouses couldn't see, but maybe not. Nothing at all sexual, but a lot of saying things like, "I miss talking to you everyday," and heart emojis. It seems like one of us always comes up with a work excuse to touch base (question about a contract or something), but the time between contacts is getting further apart :(

Welp, today was Boss' last day. I sent a very heartfelt note to him at the end of the day yesterday, and he sent the same back. Nothing inappropriate, but lots of heart emojis sent both ways. I have to say, I'm pretty good at expressing myself on paper, and I think he was a little overwhelmed by it - in a good way. I can be very sarcastic, so it's rare that I get that serious. I don't think he expected me to be so open and vulnerable and was a bit humbled. There was a little send off at the office today. Good to see everyone, but when we saw each other, he gave me the biggest hug and just said thank you. I think it was a bit of a thank you for everything, and thank you for the kind words yesterday, which I don't think he was expecting - cont'd (1/2)

So we just had an organizational All Hands meeting and Boss' boss gave a little farewell speech to Boss. One of the other managers, a super-cool guy who has worked with Boss for 14 years, gave a very heartfelt little speech and even got choked up. And dammit if I'm not crying like a baby right now. I was finally doing really well after initially finding out, and now I'm a mess again. I already have a very heartfelt, but appropriate, note already typed out that I plan to send to him on his last day. The team is all going to lunch with him (me included) that day, but there's no way I can get serious during that. I don't want to start crying in front of everyone. But he only has a week left, and it's really starting to sink in.

Meant to add that if he left, and we did call each other, we would kind of have to admit that we're not just talking because of work, KWIM? I mean, we know that now, but we can use the excuse that we work together, so we have to talk. It may not seem like it, but we really have never crossed a line. Never said anything inappropriate or even remotely suggestive. If it's the last day before a weekend or holiday, and we haven't talked for whatever reason (not unusual when we're busy), one of us will always shoot an IM to the other telling them to have a good weekend or a wonderful vacation or whatever. I'll always tell him to take time to relax, since he works all the time. He'll sometimes respond with a heart reaction. No one ever uses that heart reaction at work 'cause it is kind of weird/personal. But he'll use it when I send a personal note to him.

Boss update - nothing really new to report. Still the same chemistry filled, borderline flirty chats as always. I noticed today that he IM's me every morning as soon as I log on, which means he's watching and waiting for me, since I don't log in at the same time every day. And they're good morning messages or fun stuff, not work related. (Here's where I'd insert a heart emoji if I could). He's taken a few more last minute out of office stretches, but they are dying down and no Private Meetings lately. But from what I can piece together, I think there's something going on with his father-in-law, so that would explain those.