They say if you have mental illness talk about it. My mum basically invalidated my feelings and said I didn’t feel that way. My dad screamed at me about my responsibilities and how selfish I was to be thinking this way. My best friend immediately brushed off what I was saying with, “everybody went crazy during the pandemic” and again, invalidated me. My boyfriend basically said “there there” and moved on. Fucking hilarious. I am drowning and literally nobody cares. My advice is if you’re suicidal, don’t talk about it. Chances are if you’re suicidal your support network blows and I can tell you now, everybody is just going to make you feel more alone and worse. Then they gaslight you at your funeral with, “why didn’t she talk to uuuussssss?”

New roommate already bringing her boyfriend over a lot and it's only been a week! I hate that I hear them right next to my room. It makes me bummed that I'm not in a relationship.

When I was in my 20s I used to host 20-30 people every year for Thanksgiving. I wasn't the best cook, and I lived in a trailer. But dammit, everyone came for the holiday and had a good time. It was the only holiday that we all got together, siblings and cousins and the one remaining parent. Fast forward to now, both my parents are gone, those cousins are the parents now and the siblings are all the grandparents. (including me). And nobody is coming anymore. Last year it was covid, this year I think they just don't want to come. My son and his family are coming and that's it. My daughter isn't even coming. She's living with her boyfriend and is going to his family holiday. My siblings and their kids and grandkids are not coming. I think this year I'm going to start passing on my turkey day tips and recipes to my daughter in law. It's gonna be her turn at this hosting business soon. I have to be okay with it.

I found out that an old friend / boyfriend from high school died. He and I were more like FWB, never a serious boyfriend. But we were each other's first sexual partners, enjoyed each others company, and had a lot of fun and shared a lot of good talks. I moved away and hadn't seen or talked to him for 30 years. We kept in touch for a few years after graduating, but it was a lot harder before the internet and cell phones, so we eventually lost touch. He went to a different school, so we didn't have a lot of mutual friends either. He went to an Ivy League college, which I knew, and ended up getting a Master's as well. Turns out he developed an alcohol addiction and strruggled for years. He eventually took his own life. I haven't seen him for so long, but I'm truly sad. I'm sad that a lot of people who knew him never knew the person I did. His handsome smile, his kindness, his ambition. Rest easy, Matt. See you on the other side.

(Con't) of chronic fatigue syndrome post. I also feel like my ocd is in over drive. I have anxiety too. I haven't had a panic attack in a long time thank goodness. My boyfriend is a good man too. He always tries to make me feel loved. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. He's not perfect, but he tries so hard for our relationship. I just feel like I'll always be this way. I also have mouth and eye tics since I started adderall, but I'm scared to stop taking it because I know I'll be tired all of the time. I wish I was normal and could feel normal. Thank you all for listening.

Went on a little getaway this past weekend with my boyfriend. We've been together almost 2 years. We even took Friday off. I didn't want to go. I wanted to pay down his credit and get stuff for our new place/apartment. We went and it was a terrible trip! He booked the wrong hotel. Got it figured out and got the hotel we originally wanted. His friend was supposed to call us but never did so bf ends up calling him to ask where some AA meetings are. Friend invites us over. We go to the store to bring something for them and guys wife since we were just meeting her for the first time. Our GPS's weren't working. He was having a man child tantrum about us having to go to the store. Went back to hotel and he falls asleep. Next day my sis and her bf come. We were going to walk a famous Bridge and go to the beach. Couldn't find parking for bridge, no big deal. We go to beach and my bf is being a back seat driver. I whispered to him that we could go straight and get to the beach. He yells out,

I had the best dream last night. I was at a casual gathering / party with a bunch of old friends from high school. But we were all the age we are now (late 40s, early 50s). And we were just totally relaxing and enjoying hanging out and having fun, catching up. There was even a litle sexy time with an old FWB, who I have nothing but fond memories of. In a weird, but awesome, twist, an old boyfriend (post high school), who was a borderline-abusive, stalker, a-hole appeared and I punched him in the face and he disappeared like in a video game. I know, crazy. But it was just a really good dream that seemed to last a really long time, and I've been thinking about it all day. I love when that happens.

I don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore. It's just too much.

So DD22 left the boyfriend with some extended family in the area and is driving to stay with her grandparents a few hours away. Apparently she's been concealing the fact that he's been grilling her for some months about her past relationships. And last night he went through her phone. OMG I wish I had known he was like this. We really liked him, too. He seemed great. Sneaky bastard. I'm so grateful she has family in the area and someplace to go clear her head. He has her thinking she's broken because she's had a few friends with benefits in her life. She's not broken, she's normal. He's the one with the problem.

My DD22 is having a potentially break-up causing fight with her boyfriend and they're 500 miles away on vacation. I hate this so much, I can't help her or do anything or hug her. They're so good together but they're both so young. I don't know what will happen. I hope they work this out. I had a feeling when they left, I was going to get either a "We got engaged" phone call or a "We're breaking up" phone call. I thought maybe I was just being paranoid. Ugh.