I’m about to just clock out of this bullshit we call life. A full year into our “oh your house will be ready in 6 months” and we still have no house. We’ve sold our current house and have nowhere to live. Our financials look so much fucking worse than they did when we got approved and I’m terrified we’ll get all the way to the end and they’ll say no. I can’t find a job, not even a part time one. Turned down within minutes on most applications even though I have 20 years of working experience. If it wasn’t for my kids, I swear I would just kill myself. As it is, I’m terrified we’re about to be homeless and destitute. Fuck everything.

People make fun of me when I buy a lottery ticket and get disappointed when I lose. But it's the only way I could leave him and not completely ruin my kids' lives. Every time I lose, I lose more hope.

After talking about it for several years, three years ago I convinced DH to sell our home of 20 years and move to a sunny climate 1000+ miles away. For the past 2 weeks I’ve been so depressed. I want to see my kids and grandkids whenever I want, go see my elderly dad when he’s having a bad day, and most of all, I want to have chaotic Christmases like we used to have in our old house. Putting on a fake smile is SO exhausting.

My marriage could be better for sure. Not horrible, but not great. I also very rarely post on FB. I use it mostly to keep in touch with folks. Sometimes I'll post something, but it's usually not about my family because I respect their privacy. Sometimes I'll post something about my kids (teenagers) but only with their permission. But are you talking about boss' wife posting on FB? Because honestly she really didn't have a ton of posts. But I agree with you that the more someone posts about how great their life and marriage is, the less great it really is. But hard to tell because boss' wife didn't have any posts like that. And honestly, neither do I, and my marriage isn't that great. So kind of hard to tell.

Married 10+ years, with children, and also happy. The secret? My kids are grown and out of the house. Those child raising years are tough, esp with a husband that's less than stellar. I'd be bored and lonely w/o the hubs. I'd manage, though, don't get me wrong. If anything were to ever happen that ended my marriage there's no way in hell I'd marry again. I'd get another couple dogs to keep my company. At least with them, you KNOW they're not going to pick up after themselves.

2 years we managed to avoid covid and now this is the 2nd time we've had it in 6 months. The 2nd time I've failed to keep my kids from getting it. And it's so fucking disruptive. We all tested positive days after each other, so we have extended quarantines, the kids will be out of school for 2 weeks, etc. It's so frustrating and it sucks. They're missing soccer, ambassador training, first acting classes, auditions, everyting they were hoping to do for the semester. This shit is not going anywhere apparently.

I have 3 years before I can divorce my DH without completely screwing my kids. I don't know if I'll make it. He just told me something he "just found out" that I fucking told him about yesterday. Why do I bother talking to him or telling him anything if he doesen't listen anyway? And it's not like this is the first or even 101st time this has happened. And now I'm the bad guy for getting frustrated. I'm so done. The irony is that when I do finally file for divorce, he'll be shocked and have no idea why. Just counting down the days until I can serve him with the papers.

I don't have advice for you because this is me too. Different trauma but wow, that moment when you realize that your entire personality is basically trauma response. I have no clue what you should do. I'm just trying to view myself through that lens so I can at least try to be aware of this type of response as it's happening. If you figure it out, let me know. I think the worst part is seeing what it's done to my kids. My son is just like me and it makes me pretty sad. I wanted more for him. My daughter? She's too young for me to see for sure how my personal sh*t has affected her. I'm sure I screwed her up too. Time will tell.

When we got married he was abusive, had no interest in parenting the child we got married for, worked all the time, and generally hated us. I picked up the slack, worked, raised our son, compensated for all his disinterest, and supported him. I stayed through everything bc I thought that was what you were supposed to do. Now, with 2 kids, he's accusing me of never allowing him to parent, never letting him speak, never trusting him. And he's right. I dont. In trying to protect my kids, be the opposite of my mother, and also encourage and support this man who I couldn't see didn't want me or us, I took away any respect he had for himself and any respect the kids had for him. At the end of the day, I am the cause of his issues, my issues, and my kids issues. By trying to do and be everything that everyone else needed because it took me 15 years to realize that all of me is a trauma response and I am not a real person. So where the hell do I go now? What do I do? How do I fix any of this?

My mom is nuts- and I am a horrid person. I wish she would just disappear off the face of the planet. She's manipulative and crazy. My H hates her and refuses to entertain her and stays mad at me when I allow her a little contact. My kids love her and don't understand why I avoid interaction with her, so they stay upset with me. I wish I had either cut her off before I had kids or covered up for her so I wouldn't have to deal with her, H, and my kids all being upset with me for shit I'm not at fault for. Im 100% guilty of choosing the cowards way out by avoiding it. I can't abandon her, I don't know why. I don't contact her much, just enough to keep her from showing up at my house even though I've made it as clear as I can that she isn't welcome here. I feel so guilty 24/7 for trying to protect myself, and my H doesnt help bc he's constantly berating me for feeling guilty about it. I wish I didn't know either of them. I don't know how to face them and I don't want to. I just want peace